Sometimes i dont feel like continuing to live. I dont want to kill myself, i just want it all to stop or go away. I want to be calm. I want to be happy again.

#SeptemberWish

#SeptemberWish pengen punya pacar qq .___.

abstrak.

udah berapa malem gue mimpi cowok dund '-')/ tapi gatau mimpiin siape. jadi muka cowoknya itu gak jelas, abstrak. dan gue gak ngenalin siapa cowok itu. mukanya agak gabur gitu-_- terus waktu bangun, lupa gitu mukanya, mau ngingetnya tapi susah banget(?) gue penasaran, ini pertanda apa ya. hampir tiap malem mimpiin cowok yang mukanya gak terlalu jelas. apa ini pertanda kalo gue bakal punya cowok lagi? gak bakal ngejomblo lagi?

Wawlahu 'alam yah....

kenapa tiba2 gue jadi keseringan ngomongin cowok ya? ._. gatau apa ini karna udah masuk sma, jadinya kepengen punya cowok-_- abis di sekolah keseringan liat orang pacaran, barengan sama cowoknya, jadi kepengen juga. iri gitu ceritanya.. tptp gue tertarik sama cowok juga engga. sering barengan yesung nih, jadinya kalo liat cowok tuh rasanya biasa aja. jadinya harus nyari cowok yang levelnya tinggi(?)

jangan2 SMA ini gue stay alone, forever alone...duuuh saya juga pengen punya pacar........

/sobing forever

Senior High School...SMA...

dengernya kalo kita udah SMAitu, udah gede ya...ciee udah main pacar2an. cowok. galau dsb. wks. temen2 gue pada ngomongin cowok semua. pacaran di twitter. ditembak sama kakak kelas. gue? fangiring, pacaran sama laptop-__- miris banget. dimana temen2 gue yg lain galauin cowok. gue? gue juga galauin cowok, ngegalau bias. okesip. tadi aja ayu abis cerita kalo dia ditembak (lagi) sama kakak kelasnya di pmi. gue senyum2 gaje aja. sambil mikir 'gue juga kapan bakal ditembak ya?' hkhk terakhir ditembak sama cowok itu kelas 8-_-!

semenjak jadi fangirl, mana sempet gue mikirin cowok yang 'real'. gue juga udah lupa nich rasanya ngegalauin cowok. kangen deh *eh. kadang iri juga tau, ngeliat orang2 pacaran di twitter. terkutuk abis yg pacaran di tl tuh. kasian yg jomblo kali. contohnya gue.....

tapi gue biarpun single, tapi gue happy '-')/ gue bebas untuk spazzing tentang bias, tentang yesung. tanpa harus ada yang cemburu. entar bisa aja kalo MISALKAN gue pacaran. liat selca yesung = histeris, teriak2. liat selca pacar = muntah, singkirkan jauh2. #bedatipis. ending putus.

makanya gue mau menikmati masa2 fangirl dulu. gue juga gak tau kapan gue bakal berenti ber-fangirl ria. tapi, live should go on guys. gue juga gak selamanya bakal tenggelam ngarepin bias dateng ngelamar gue. its the impossible thing in the world.

menang (lagi) sesuatu'-')/

menang edit foto untuk kedua kalinya muhehehe

pulsa 10rb. mayaaan

yang pertama kali menang lomba edit foto itu, waktu ultahnya sungmin. wkwk dan itu juga menang juara pilihan adminnya. dan waktu lomba ultah yesung yang ini juga meang karna pilihan adminnya juga nyehehe ini alhadulillah sesuatu banget.

aaah btw, Happy Birthday Yesung! suami fiksi gue tercinta <3333!

ini foto yang gue ikutin lomba kkk

jelek? kkk emang-_- padahal masih banyak unya orang bagus2. tapi ini kan gue buatnya dengan sepenuh hati :')

eat food.

07 Agustus 2012

Mungkin hari itu hari tersial gue! Yaallah salah apa dah syamila. Kenapa hari selasa itu siaaaaal banget. Kena musibah mulu.. gimana engga coba, paginya gue telat dan kena denda (lagi) 5000. Sht bgt lah, minggu kemaren gue udah ngeluarin duit 5rb buat denda. Sekarang udah ngeluarin lagi. Gak lucu abis. Mana anak kelas gue mintanya ga nyante lagi. Selow aja kale gue pasti bayar. Cuma waktu itu mood gue lagi gak bagus gara – gara kakak dan umi. Ewh. Gue kalo udah marah, menyerambar ke semua orang. Termasuk bebeb gue sendiri si Nisa-_-

Dan kejadian ini mengakhiri kesialan gue. Aaaarghh!!!! HELM GUE ILANG!! Huaaaaah T.T jadi waktu gue sama ayu bukber di kfc, motornya itu diparkir di parkiran Ramayana. Kita kayak biasa helmnya itu gak dimasukin di jok. Jadi waktu udah mau pergi ke kfc nya kan helm gue jatoh tuh, gue balik lagi. Dan…kenapa kayanya gue pengen bilang ayu buat masukin helm kita itu ke jok motor. Tapi gak keomong soalnya sama ayu jarang banget masukin helm ke jok. Jadilah itu helm di motor gitu aja. Abis makan+main dulu. Kita pulang ya, karna udha malem juga kan. Terus udah rame. Kita itu bingung nyari motornya. Waktu ketemu gue nanya sama ayu ‘ni bukan motor kite?’ kata ayu iya. dan setelah diteliti helm kita berdua raib teman. Kita panik. Apa kitanya salah motor. Tapi engga. Kunci motor ayu itu udah masuk. Kita Tanya sama tukang parker disitu katanya emang engga ada helm disitu. Terus dianya kekeuh kalo kita emang gak pake helm dair awal. WHATHEFCK?! Yang pake helm itu kita apa lo sih bang?! Udah kita pasrah. Pulang dengan kepala kosong(?) sepanjang jalan pulang kita nangis di jalan. Udah kayak orang gila. Nangis sejalan – jalan.

Tapi di tengah jalan kita dapet hiburan :D tau gak ada anak kecil cowok pipis gitu di pinggir jalan-_______- dia bego atau apa gitu. Otomatis kita yg nangis tadi langsung ngakak liat anak kecil itu XD random banget abis nangis terus ngakak gitu. Sampe kita harus berenti deket gapura rumah gue buat berentiin ketawanya. Anjir pokoknya random banget! Abis nangis ngakak. Yaallah……

07 Agustus 2012 kenapa tanggal sekian itu Syamila sial banget sih yaallah… maafin Syamila yaallah.

so, gue harus bilang WOW gitu?

'ka mantan ..... ok syam?' 'ka mantan blalalbla?'
SHUT UP! gue suka kesel kalo ditanyain kayak gitu! kampung banget lo pada mau tau urusan gue. fyi, temen gue 'agak' menjauhi gue gara - gara gue mantan BLAH! dafuq banget kan-_- plisdeh ya itu cuma mantan. MANTAN. tau kan definisi dari MANTAN? kamseupay banget anak SMA gak tau mantan ya.

masa lalu itu seharusnya gak dibahas. upay banget lu bahas - bahas masa lalu. dan oh ya.. kalo lo mau ambil dia itu, SILAKAN. gak usah sungkan - sungkan. ambil aja tuh cowok lo. ewh.

Fakta OnKey

jika Onew Condition sudah terjadi Key langsung mengalihkan topik dan mengabaikan ke jayusan yang telah di buat oleh Onew

Onew adalah leader yang kalau sudah marah semua member pasti pada diam seribu bahasa. tapi ini tidak berlaku untuk Key ,   karena hanya Key lah yang bisa meredakan amarah sang leader *cielah

Key memanggil Onew dengan sebutan “Yeobo” atau “Onew” dan tidak memanggil onew dgn sebutan Hyung 

Key Jarang Menatap mata Onew,jika Onew natap mata langsung menghindar *kalo mau liat bisa di liat di yutub “OnKey Eyes Contact” 

lanjut? »

SHINee - Keeping Love Again Lyrics (mp3 download)

SHINee - Keeping Love Again 

君だけをもっと 後には退けないほどもっと 呆れるほど
kimi dake wo motto atoniwa hikenaihodo motto akireruhodo
More of you, till I can’t pull myself back later, More, till I’ve had more than enough


意 味などないさ 生きていくことのように
imi nado nai sa ikiteiku koto no youni
There’s no meaning, just like living

ただ愛し続けてく
tada aishi tsuzuketeku
just keep loving

問いただしても聞こえない 人の流れと雨に濡れ
toitadashtemo kikoenai hito no nagare to ame ni nure
even if I ask, i can’t hear it, as people walk by and I’m drenched in rain

届きそうでも届かない ジカンはReverse oh
todokisou demo todokanai chikanwa Reverse oh
Even if it seems to be reaching, it doesn’t, Reverse oh

触れさせてよ そのHeart 過去か未来で どうか
furesaseteyo sono Heart kakoka miraide doka
let me reach the heart in the past or future please

* (refrain)

君だけをもっと 後には退けないほどもっと 呆れるほど
kimi dake wo motto atoniwa hikenaihodo motto akireruhodo
More of you, till I can’t pull myself back later, More, till I’ve had more than enough 


意味などないさ 生きていくことのように
imi nado nai sa ikiteiku koto no youni
There’s no meaning, just like living

心のままに oh I love you
kokorono mamani oh I love you
as my heart wants oh I love you

今 Keeping Love Again もう一度
ima Keeping Love Again moichido
Now Keeping Love Again once more

again, and Keeping Love Again ひたすらに
again, and Keeping Love Again hitasurani
again, and Keeping Love Again unchanging

意味などないさ 生きていくことのように
iminadonaisa ikiteiku kotono yo-o-ni
There’s no meaning, just like living

ただ愛し続けてく
tada aishi tsuzuketeku
just keep loving

II.

泣きたいくらい逢いたくて (逢いたくて)
nakitai gurai aitakute (aitakute)
i want to see you so much I feel like crying (want to see you)

闇の狭間に泣き濡れて (泣き濡れて)
yamino hajamani nakinurete (nakinurete)
in the crevice of darkness, wet in tears (wet in tears)

伝えたくても伝わらない ココロは Reverse oh
tsutaetakutemo tsutawaranai kokorowa Reverse oh
I want to express my heart but can’t Reverse oh

聞かせてよ そのHeart 交われる場所（とこ）まで
kikaseteyo sono Heart majiwareru toko made
Let me hear the heart until we are joined together 

*(refrain)

III.

願うなら この鼓動が 命刻む音奏でるたび
negaunara kono koudouga inochi kizamu oto kanaderu tabi
If I pray, whenever this heartbeat plays the sound of life

ひとつ ふたつ 希望になって ひとりがふたりになって
hitotsu hutatsu kibo-o-ni natte hitoriga hutarini natte
one, two, wishes come true, one person becomes two people

愛は永遠に
aiwa eienni
love forever

*(refrain)

ただ愛し続けてく(君だけを)
tada aishi tsuzuketeku (kimidakeo)
just keep loving (only you)

cr: forevershiningshinee on tumblr.

Download Here 
Password: atechickenonew

cr: recaap-koreandrama

Someday (maybe) I Could Reach it

its my dream? how 'bout you?

 nonton Super Show, dengan member yang lengkap pastinya.

nonton SHINee World Concert :D

 

jadi istri namja yang di atas itu *nunjuk ke atas* iya Kim Jong Woon, liat dia udah mengancungkan jarinya, setuju.

lanjut? »

Waiting for Miracle

menunggu 12 Mei ke 2 Juni itu...membosankan. nothing to do. ngebosenin tau gak, di rumah itu gaada kerjaan selain 'pacaran' sama laptop. umi juga marah2 karna di depan laptop terus. yak terus disuruh ngapain? diajak jalan kek anaknya ini, diajak kemana gitu. ini setiap hari kerja pulang sore, iya kalo pulang sore, kalo pulang malem? ha ha. di rumah juga sama aisha terus. bosenin tau gak. jujur pengen banget jalan bedua aja sama umi, tanpa aisha pastinya. tapi...ya begitulah.

12 mei ke 2 juni juga itu cuma nunggu kelulusan aja. ntar belum nunggu mau masuk sma nya. yaallah. demi apa monoton banget siklus hidup sekarang. bangun-tidur-makan-pacaran sama laptop-tidur-makan-tidur-makan. gituu aja seterusnya. di rumah juga gaada temen. temen gue ya itu, si laptop lenovo warna hitam yg setia banget nemenin waktu bosan.

siapa ajaaa bawa kabur syamila dari rumaaaah ;A; di rumah itu ngebosenin banget tau gak! kalo udah jalan sama ayu rasanya gamau balik ke rumah lagi-__- culik syamila, culik syamila. culik syamila ke korea!

Abstrak.

/di tempat tidur/ teparrr gila pinggang sakit banget-__- beneran kalo udah sakit pinggang kaya gini berasa udah nenek2 banget. seharian duduk terus ya pasti capek, sekalinya dibawa baring aduuh itu enak banget, kalo dibawa sholat juga, kalo lagi sujud itu, pinggang rasanya enaaak banget u,u

tgl 12 mei. Meiless ulang tahuuun \m/ saengil chukkae eonni! {} :*

....... tadi mau nulis apa lupa dah kan jadinya-.- fufu kepengen aja nongkrong di blog. soalnya baru dipermak! hoho jadi lebih terang kan keliatannya? wohoho iyadong soalnya mood ku juga lagi baik. jadi template blognya agak cerah dikit. keren kan keren kan? aku suka warna pink nya, kalem.

oya entah kenapa akhir-akhir ini terobsesi sama tangan mungilnya si yesung. sebenernya udah lama sih 'tertarik' sama tangannya yesung. tapi gatau kenapa baru sekarang jadi lebih terobsesi. dan saat itu juga gue udah bikin 1 folder khusus untuk tangannya yesung._. hehe aku tau ini aneh. tapi dibandingkan sama gue yesung lebih aneh.

tangannya itu kecilnya banget >.< imuuut. sebenernya masih ada foto tangannya, tapi waktu dikumpul gitu picasa cuma kelompokin 43 foto. dasar picasa pabo!

dan malem ini orang pada heboh kyu pingsan waktu mau syuting..apa gitu. katanya yesung yg bilang-dari twitternya yesung gitu- tapi yesung gaada ngetwit apapun ttg kyu. jadilah berita itu masih ttd. terus tadi gue baca di @kpopers_family katanya kyu pingsan abis baca sms gitu dari hapenya. hyuk sempet liat hapenya kyu. ada sms gitu..lupa isinya apa. tapi sms yg kyu kirim ituu..gimanaaa gitu kesannya hkhk. jadinya waktu baca smsnya gue langsung reflek teriak gitu di kamar-__- sesaat kemudian ada umi dateng nanya kenapa. hahaha gue jawab gpp, masa gue mau bilang kyuhyun pingsan gara2 galau? kan galucu.

gue denger ku kaya gitu aja gue udah teriak sampe umi nanya kenapa. apalagi kalo yesung yg kaya gitu. mungkin gue udah ke masjid dkt rumah dan teriak-teriak pake mic disitu. ending gue langsung ditendang dari masjid dan dibawa ke sungailiat.

Way - (Japanese Lyric) Roman + Trans

 

Way -Romanzination-

 

Wow – Oh – Oh Wow – Oh – Oh – Oh
Wow – Oh – Oh Wow – Oh – Oh – Oh – Oh
[Yesung] tabi ni tsukare ta asa mo kaze ga tsuyoi yoru mo
tabibito wa nan do demo tachiagari susun de yuku
 

[Kyuhyun] tsuyoku terasu hizashi ni mizu no nai daichi de
hana ga ima mo doko ka de sako u to shi te iru you ni
 

[Ryeowook] koukai da toka kanashimi o
hikizuru tame ni ikiru wake ja nai tte koto
 

[KRY] kimi wa shit teru hazu da yo
 

[All] umare ta basho toka mi te ta fuukei mo
nanimokamo chigau bokura no yuku
sorezore no michi wa itsuka doko ka de
tsunagat te iru kara
 

[Leeteuk]hitori ja nai yo

[Eunhyuk] saa fu o susumeyo u boku tachi no ikiru akashi sagashi te
juubun sugiru kurai kako wa zura i
tohou ni kure ta hibi o ima koe te
[Donghae] itsuka negat ta ano mirai nani no kakushou mo mada nai
keredo kitto bokura tat teru sugu soba ni
 

[Sungmin] hikimodose nai wakare da to ka kienokoru yume da toka
wasure rare nai nara
 

[EunHaeMin] isso tsure te ike ba ii yo
 

[All] ikutsu mo wakare ta michi no tochuu de
sorezore no yume kizan da kakera
sono hitotsuhitotsu ga itsuka ookina
jinsei toiu na no
pazuru ni naru yo

[Shindong] tokini mayoi tachidomaru
kutsu soko kosuri herashi aruke nai hi ni wa
douka omoidashi te hoshii
keiken na tabibito no uta o
[Leeteuk] donnani tooku hanare te te mo onaji sora o bokura miageru
Sonna ari fureta Way,  hitotsu hitotsu ga takara mono.

Kake ga enai bokura no piisu saa 

[Kyuhyun] umare ta basho toka mi te ta fuukei mo
nanimokamo chigau koto hokori ni omou yo

[All] ikutsu mo wakare ta michi no tochuu de
sorezore no yume kizan da kakera
sono hitotsuhitotsu o narabe te bokura no
jinsei ga sukoshi zutsu

[Donghae] dekiagat te ku yo

Wow – Oh – Oh Wow – Oh – Oh – Oh
Wow – Oh – Oh Wow – Oh – Oh – Oh – Oh – Oh

Translation

Yesung: Travelers rise up to move forward as many times, 

Even in distress mornings or windy nights.


Kyuhyun: Flowers are blooming everywhere, 

despite the extreme sunlight or soil with no water.


Ryeowook: You should not live a life that is full of sadness and regrets. 


K.R.Y: You should know that.


All: We have our own path, Our own birthplace, 

even Scenery to look out for 

but oneday we would be together in a place.


Leeteuk: You are not alone.


Eunhyuk: Let's move forward and look for something that is worth living for.

 Now, Overcome the days when you were at loss. 

It's enough to be bothered by the past. 


Donghae: although there is no confimation, 

I'm sure we will get our chance.


Sungmin: If there are things you cannot leave behind like farewells or unforgettable dreams, 


EunHaeMin: just take them with you.


All: Even if we part ways with our own dreams. 
all of it will be the pieces of the puzzle called "LIFE".


Shindong: When the time comes that you are confuse and hesitated to move forward. 

I want you to remember the song of the travelers.


Leeteuk: although we are far away from each other, we are still looking up at the same sky. 

Even in such common ways, all of this things are our treasure.

I am proud that we have our own perspective and own identity. 

Even if we part ways with our own dreams.


With all of this, little by little we move forward in attaining our goals in life.

translate and romaji : rei

japanese lyrics : colored_cloud_

via: nino-chul.blogspot.com

@rei066.twitter.com

Please take out with FULL CREDITS 

 

new project

im afraid if my idea lost way again. so i decided to move my idea in my head to ms. word. and you know what?

i gonna made fanfiction (again) and i promise will made this ff until the story end B)

symL's gif

malem rabu ini...tiba-tiba jadi pengen 'nyimpen' gif di blog. hehe ini syamila sendiri yang buat gif nya. bukan buatan orang laiin :D. dan..saking terlalu banyaknya gif di laptop dan juga takut ilang(?) mending di upload di sini aja. sebagian sih udah ada aku upload di tumblr. sebagian itu mah tapi-_- tapi ini juga mungkin sebagian dulu mau uploadnya. tapi tergantung internetnya sih. yak udahan, sori gue gapandai ngomong. jadi kalo ngomong berputar-putar dulu seperti kentut.

dimulai dari yesung dulu...

 maaf banget yah yesung, kaya nya banyakan gif aib mu deh._.

oke tadinya mau langsung semuanya di upload. tapi tiba2 modemnya jadi lelet! mungkin ini kutukan dari raja kura - kura kim jong woon ;A;

Kehidupan kembali Seperti Kentut.

HAI! *bow*

hhe aku udah selesai ujiaan dan udah selesai tes SMA nyaaaa \(^^;)/

tinggal tunggu hasil tinggal tunggu hasil. yeyeyeeey

rasanya abis selesai ujian ituuu WaW banget, serasa bisul di badan ini pecah semua.....oke ini dusta banget, badanku gak bisulan sebanyak itu. itu hanya salah satu contoh kalimat bermajas...hei kenapa malah jadi nyambung ke kalimat bermajas? ya ya itu salah satu materi di un bhs.ind, ternyata otakku ini masih inget ya biarpun udah kelar ujian hoho. berarti selama ini syml ngerti materi un, bukan hanya hapal doang fu fu fu.bangga banget deh u,u

abis ujian sama tes siklus hidup yang tidak baik kembali berputar, seperti kentut. syml kembali menjadi kalong. siang hari tidak menampakkan diri, malam hari menampakkan diri. bentar...kayak setan ya-__- etapi gue bukan setan. oke, setiap hari kayak biasa sebelum ujian begadang sampe jam 3-an. semalem sampe jam setengah 4 dong hhe u,u ngapain? ga ngapa-ngapain kok.

......

engga deng, masa begadang sampe jam setengah 4 tp ga ngapa-ngapain -_,- begadang sampe jam segitu palingan baca ff. internetan. baca komik/novel. atau 'berburu' sesuatu. xixi do you know whts the mean 'berburu'? ya itu...berburu 'sesuatu' yg syml suka hohoho dan cuma dapet tidur berapa jam. ending, pergi sekolah dengan mata panda.

then...at school i've a very boring activity-_________- jssica di bandung, i lost my friend who's always arguing w/ me. aaaaa kachika bogoshipoooooo ;_; dan sekarang anak-anak pada lari ke gue buat ngumpulin uang perpisahan what the.. gue sekretaris woooooi bukan bendaharaa t(-_-) asli paling males buat di suruh megang2 uang gitu. udah..cukup dikasih amanah buat megang uang kas yg jumlahnya gak sedikit itu. haah *sigh* fuuh live alone.

Fakta 2MIN

"Minho hyung... tolong lebih cintai aku.." -Taemin

"aku tak tahu jika Taemin tahu bahwa aku perduli dengannya. Taemin kau tau kan? kau hanya punya aku... iya kan?" -Minho

Saat Taemin tidak jelas melihat banner di dream concert Minho langsung menaikkan Taemin di lehernya, dan Taemin tanpa harus diberitahu dia langsung duduk di leher Minho.

Waktu di variety show SHINee Taxi di tvN. ketika mereka diajak ke taman yg bersinar *apalah itu namanya, tamannya bagus banget* Minho mengkhayal, "ini untukmu, buka matamu. tapi ini TAXI, sangat mengesankan. tapi..aku..tiba-tiba.." terus dipotong sama Taemin, "aku merasakan seperti jatuh cinta," terus Minho nya langsung meluk Taemin dari belakang, dan bilang "Taemin-ah saranghaeyo!"

Di salah satu wawancara, SHINee ditanya tentang kesan mereka saat bertemu satu sama lain. Taemin pun mengungkapkan kesan pertamanya kepada Minho. taemin sempat kaget dan berpikir, "mengapa bisa ada orang yang memiliki mata sbeulat itu,"

Saat Idol Army, di bagian Jonghyun menyanyikan lagu romantis untuk 2PM. tiba-tiba minho mendekati Taemin dan memeluknya dari belakang kemudian menyandarkan dagunya di bahu Taemin.

Minho mengaku kalau dia sering mandi bareng dengan Taemin di salah satu acara radio. dan Taemin sedikit terkejut mendengar pengakuan Minho.

Waktu SMTown paris juga, seorang fans menangkap wajah cemburu Minho waktu Donghae memegang leher Taemin. dan Donghae megang leher Taemin sambil ngeliatin minho. seolah-olah ingin tau bagaimana reaksi minho.

Pada Idol Army, waktu Minho dan nickhun main "Of Course" dan nickhun bertanya pada minho "do you have a girlfriend?" dan minho menjawab "that's you hyung". tiba-tiba taemin memukul spanduk yg di belakangnya. XD

cr: ichaichez.blogspot.com

nih bonus~ XD

You're sitting at your desk, and you know it's time to go. You've said that to yourself over a million times, but this time you know, for sure, is real. You're tired... you're just so very tired. You're parents pissed you off, like school wasn't bad enough today. You go to get the rope, or the knife, or the gun or whatever you choose to use because you're that desperate. You're ready. You think of it as some game... the first one dead is the one who wins. No ones home, it's the perfect time. You're ready. If you don't do it, you're gonna look down on yourself even more forever. You're just going to hate yourself even more. No one knows, no one will know... until tomorrow. Instead of getting a paper and a pen, you get the video camera out, along with a chair. You're standing on the chair. You decided to go with the rope... you're gone instantly and there will be no noise. One side of the rope is tied to the top of your fan and the other is already around your neck. You're in tears, you know it's for real this time. You turn on the video camera and just stare at the red light blinking upon your eyes. You start to mumble out a few words. "Mom and dad, I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm sorry, but I'm sorry. I can't do this anymore. Please don't blame yourself, please. I love you both, and tell my siblings the same. I'll see you all soon." You say sorry to your best friend because you know you won't be there for him anymore when he needs you more than ever. You say sorry to everyone you could think of... even yourself. You're sorry for not being strong anymore. You're sorry for breaking down. You're sorry for putting them through so much pain in their life. You stare, once again, at the red light blinking upon your eyes. One foot is off the chair now as you begin to mouth the word goodbye. You have the remote control to turn off the camera in your hand. You clicked the off button and as soon as you see that light go off, you go off. Both feet are now off the chair... the chair is on the floor... the room is filled with silence. You're dead. You're gone. There is no going back. Everything is over. You don't have to live in pain anymore... but everyone else will. What are your parents going to think? What about your little brother, or little sister? What are they going to do? You're gone. You're dead. There is no going back. You ended your life because the person of your dreams only thinks of you as friends. You ended your life because that one teacher was harder on you than anyone else in the class because she knows you're the only one that is going somewhere in life. Your parents are home. They call your name telling you their home, just like they normally do when they get home.... but something's different. You don't answer. They get worried... you always answer. They come upstairs thinking your sleeping or showering. Your mom opens your bedroom door and screams at the top of her lungs. She instantly passes out. Now your little brother comes up after her. He screams "DADDY HELP!!!!" He runs over to you hitting your leg begging you to wake up. "WAKE UP, WAKE UP. PLEASE STOP WAKE UP". But you don't answer, you're not waking up. You're gone. You're dead. There is no going back. Your dad comes running upstairs and all he could do is stare. He watches his baby girl swing back and forth on a rope. He sees the video camera and he sees the chair. But he doesn't move. He's stiff as a board. He cries.... Your dad NEVER cries. He picks up the phone and calls 911. He can barely get the words "My daughter committed suicide" out of his mouth. Your little sister stares at your dad. Your dad hangs up and your little sister jumps into your dad's arms, crying harder than ever. She's too young to understand completely, but she knows you're gone. You're dead. There is no going back. Everything is over. The cops finally arrive. They push your dad and sister out of your room and sit them in the living room. They take your body down off the ropes and lay you on the stretcher. They cover your body and out you go... just like that. You're gone. You're dead. There's no going back. Nothing is the same. Two weeks have passed and your mom still stares out the window more than half of the day. Your little sister still hasn't returned to school. Your dad is forced to go to work so he can pay all the bills for your wake and funeral. Eventually, they found to strength to go into your room. Your door hasn't been open for months. The rope is still laying on the floor and the video camera is still sitting on the table. They don't even dare to watch the video, it will never be seen. They slowly pick up the rope and throw it in the garbage. Chills run up their spine, your mom basically in tears. They brush off your bed, making it neat... like they used to do every morning after you went to school. Your bed was made and your room was clean. They shut the door, and it remained shut. Your school is still in distress. You thought no one cared and you thought no one noticed you. The girl that said no to being your lab partner, yeah she cuts every single night now because she thinks it's her fault you died. The boy that tripped you by accident and didn't say sorry, yeah he's in suicidal therapy 5 days a week in a hospital because he feels a smile could of saved your life and he didn't give that to you. The teacher that was hard on you that day, she quit her job because she felt she wasn't suited to teach anymore. You're gone. You're dead. There's no going back. 4 years have passed. Your little sister is now 15 years old. She started a club in her school dedicated to you. "Secrets" is what she calls it. The club is formed for kids to speak their hearts, without anyone judging them. They can say anything they want to, and talk about anything they needed to. If they were suicidal, they always had someone. That was your problem. You didn't want to talk to anyone. You had everything bottled up inside of you. You acted as if you were the happiest kid on the planet and you had the perfect life. You played that character so well that even you started to believe it. You would be so "happy" and as soon as you layed in bed at night, the thoughts came back. A little fight between you and your parents could have set you off. But with everything inside of you bottled up for years, it hit your limits. You're gone. You're dead. There's no going back. Your room will never be occupied. Your mom still cries every single night. Your dad isn't as strong as he used to be. Your little sister will never grow up with you by her side moving her in the right direction. Your best friend is still torn up. Your school now has a club dedicated to you so teens will not make the same mistake you did. Your life was precious and you took it away in the blink of an eye. All you needed was a smile, that's all you needed. But since you're gone, just know people cared. People always have cared. You were just way too upset to see that. You were just too caught up in the fact that you thought no one cared... when the truth was, more people cared about you that you ever thought they would. Your town will never be the same. A girl is gone, a special girl who thought no one cared. Everyone cared. I promise you. They care, they always have cared. We loved you, and no matter what, we will still always love you.

No Title

If I could only see you again today, if I could do it again, if you came back again….
If you slept by my side just once more, if it happened again…
I wouldn’t want to wake up
If I could fall sleep…

- In My Dream

SUPER SHOW 4 INDONESIA = GALAU

akhirnya...
penantian ELF selama ini terwujud juga ya. SS4 akhirnya diadain di INA. haaah *sigh* entahlah gue harus seneng, sedih, excited, galau atau apalah. gue bingung sendiri. yang pasti gue SEDIKIT seneng, dan BANYAKAN galaunya. yaallah. itu Suju udah 1 negara sama gue! dan dan gue masih belom bisa ngeliat mereka secara live!! padahal udah dikasih kemudahan, mereka udah 1 negara, 1pulau, sama gue. haaah

tinggalin syamila sendiri... ini derita banget. let me die, i can't go to SJ's concert TT.TT lemme die-now.

kalian ELF yang nonton ss4, itu.. itu kalian beruntung banget! bersyukur lah.. bersyukur lah kalian bisa ngeliat oppadeul sekarang. buat Jessica sama Dinda yang nonton, jangan lupa waktu pulang ke Bangka bawa serta pulang yesung :')

mungkin gue belum saatnya bisa nonton Super Show. maybe, gue bisa nonton Super Show yang selanjutnya dengan member yang lengkap ber-13. AMIN.

50 Fakta SHINee ~

• Key dapat menirukan gerakan tarian hanya dengan melihatnya satu kali.
• Onew selalu berusaha untuk tersenyum di depan orang – orang lain walaupun ia tengah mengalami kesulitan
• Minho pernah melihat Onew tertidur di sofa setelah memandangi handphone-nya dalam waktu yang lama. Karena penasaran, akhirnya Minho mengintip handphone milik Onew. Ternyata yang dilihat oleh Onew sebelumnya adalah foto “fried dumplings” (sejenis kue)
• MC: “sebagai leader, menurutmu apakah hal paling penting yang harus dimiliki oleh seorang leader?” 

     Onew: “seorang leader harus TAMPAN” *onew PD nya tingkat dewa-_-*

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